Holding the front of the canoe
 | Rob Crowe
Columnist
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Uncle Joe probably needed a bath, we being about a week away from civilization, but this was probably not the time or place.
It was a cold October morning, a rim of ice around the edge of the stream as we ran the front of the canoe up onto a beaver dam about a mile east of the main camp. I hopped out of the canoe, rested my .270 to one side and grasped the canoe with both hands so Uncle Joe could get out of the canoe.
He stood up, a svelte 254 pounds packed on a 5' 8" frame, 760 Remington '06 in one hand and started down the length of the 17' Aluma-Craft. About mid craft, he apparently thought it was a good time to do a ballet dance or something. The canoe started to gyrate wildly there was no way I could keep the canoe steady as it first tipped one way, then the other as he tried to keep his balance.
The struggle was short with the expected result he catapulted over the left side of the canoe into the clean, cold water, losing the '06 in the process. He came up gasping and clambered out of the water to the shore, wet from head to toe and hopping mad.
I was good. I didn't even crack a smile. Me being one of the juniors of the Burt Clan, laughing at one of the Uncles at a time like this was strictly forbidden. I shucked my jacket and got back in the canoe to fish for the wayward gun, shoulders shaking with repressed laughter. Fortunately, the water wasn't too deep, by reaching in almost to my armpit I retrieved the '06, carefully got back out of the canoe and handed it to Uncle Joe.
I offered to head back to camp, but he wanted to hunt since we were already there. However that passed when he couldn't stop shivering. Anyway, I'd guess the loud splash and subsequent noise had probably startled any moose in the immediate mile or two. We soon headed back to camp so he could warm up and change out of the wet clothes. For some odd reason the rest of the Uncles started kidding him about being the cleanest man in camp, I guess he didn't appreciate that very much.
The ballet dance of the Democrats has begun. Amid much fanfare, they have taken over in Washington. We've gotten many promises that they are going to clean up things there. Pardon me for sounding a little cynical, but shortly after making much of her agenda that includes ethics reform, Speaker Pelosi was special guest at a $1,000 a plate fundraiser dinner. I'm wondering how many of the people they expect to help with an increase in the minimum wage could attend that one?
I know for sure the workers who will be losing their jobs when the expected minimum wage increase takes effect will not be able to.
Throughout the campaign, which underscored the success of negative campaigning, the Democrats promised that they would run things differently in the house. They vilified the practice of pushing through legislation without minority opposition or public debate and promised to do things differently. Guess what? This promise has immediately been broken. All of the legislation they are proposing will be pushed through without committee hearings.
Another interesting development: Speaker Pelosi has appointed John Conyers to Chair the Judiciary Committee. This ethically challenged individual evidently has, among other things, been requiring his staffers to babysit his children and work on local and state campaigns. The House Ethics Committee has quietly reprimanded him in a report released late on a Friday afternoon - what impeccable timing! I'm wondering, could Conyers' infractions possibly be evidence of a "Culture of Corruption?"
Incidentally, Conyers has been promising to start impeachment proceedings against President Bush for some time.
With this impressive start by the Pelosi Democrats, it looks like this session of Congress has potential. Potential for exactly what, I don't know, but we all have front side seats. I'm thinking it's kinda like back when I was at the front of the canoe, trying to hold it when my Uncle Joe started doing a ballet dance ...
Rob Crowe chairs the Aitkin County Republicans and raises kids and cows on a farm near Hill City.
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